Character: The Sarge
Q: So tell me a little about yourself.
A: Me? Not much to tell. Just a workin' stiff tryin' to make his way out there in the big, bad galaxy. You know how it is.
Q: And by 'working' you mean being a mercenary, correct?
A: Well I ain't talkin' about pickin' flowers, buddy.
Q: *Laughs* Why don't you talk about your line of work?
A: Sure. I mean, basically I get paid to crack skulls. Battles. War. That kind of thing. Anytime, anywhere. Lock and load, baby. Slag 'em, tag 'em, and bag 'em.
Q: I see. Basically, you fight for money.
A: You said it, pal. Cold, hard cash up front. Gotta pay the bills somehow.
Q: What kind of 'bills' do you have to pay? It's not like you've got a mortgage...
A: No. Nothin' like that. Us Granok, we ain't really got a home. None of us have been back to Gnox since...well, we ain't been there for a long time. And that's all I'm gonna say about it.
Q: Gnox? Is that your homeworld?
Q: Can you tell me about what happened there?
A: I said I don't want to talk about it. Don't make me say it again, chief.
Q: Understood. So what do you need money for?
A: The usual. Fuel. Weapons. Explosives. And, of course, beer.
Q: Beer, did you say? Interesting. So, you enjoy beer?
A: Do I 'enjoy' beer? Heh. Does an M17 Blastorex Avenger leave a foot wide exit wound? Yeah, I like beer. Hell, I love beer. Cold beer. Beer in a can. Beer in a bottle. Beer in a 68 gallon keg. It's definitely my favorite food, no doubt about it.
Q: Would it be accurate to say that you enjoy a few beers after each battle?
A: Absolutely. And I ain't above crackin' a few before, either. Or during. Nothin' like a few brews to take the edge off, you know what I'm sayin'?
Q: You mentioned weapons before. Let's talk some more about the tools of your trade.
A: No problem. I mean, obviously, I like guns. The bigger, the better. And grenades, too. You might say that blowin' stuff up is kinda one of my hobbies. Grenades come in handy for that.
Q: And I assume you like swords? You are wearing a rather large one on your back right now.
A: You mean Ol' Blue here? Oh, yeah. I like swords. Nothing like a sword when you need to get up close and personal. And Blue is about as personable as you can get. Take a look at that edge...
Q: *Coughs* Yes, um, sharp. And what is that, er, machine sitting next to you?
A: This? What's it look like, pal? It's a shield.
Q: Really. I'd say that's quite a...unique...interpretation of the concept.
A: You said it, buddy. It's called a Ripsaw. Now imagine that a shield, a power saw, and a turbo-charged engine got together and had a cranky kid. The Ripsaw is that kid.
Q: I see. Let's talk about something else. I understand that you recently made a trip to the planet Nexus?
A: You bet I did.
Q: What can you tell me about it?
A: Well, I ain't really supposed to talk about it. The brass says it's classified, so I'm supposed to keep my trap shut.
Q: You can't say anything at all?
A: Well, I can tell that you I was hired to protect a couple a' Exiles who were going planetside for the first time. Exploration and research team. Figured it was a quick way to make a buck.
Q: Exploration and research team? Can you talk about them?
A: I guess. The explorer was this guy named Buck. Just between you and me, he was kind of annoying. Typical human. Always shootin' off his mouth, tryin' to be funny. Pretty good with a gun, though.
Q: And the researcher?
A: She was an Aurin gal. Pretty much what you'd expect. Bleedin' heart type. Always cryin' about something and getting her feelings hurt. But I gotta admit, when the chips were down she really kicked some ass.
Q: Seems like you might have a soft spot for her...
A: You sayin' I'm soft? I don't like the sound of that...
Q: Err, no! Of course not! Do you have any upcoming missions you can talk about?
A: Well, I ain't got anything official on the books, but we mercs are always gettin' sent in to fight the Dominion. Those jobs are the best. I just love beatin' the crap outta those guys.
Q: Sounds like it might be personal.
A: Oh, it's personal alright, buddy. The Dominion and the Granok go way back.
Q: Really? You want to tell me a little more about it?
A: I'd love to, pal. But it's happy hour down at the Last Man Standing, and all this interviewin' is makin' me thirsty.
Q: I think I've got everything I need here. Perhaps its best we finish up.
A: That's the smartest thing you said all day.
When last we left our heroes...
It’s time to show everyone the true meaning of the season: CONSUMERISM.
Here’s what we have planned for the final two months on Planet Nexus.